I have hate handles instead of love handles.
Sometimes I pretend to not know what day of the week it is just so I have an excuse to talk to someone…
Pizza Hut Manager: Alright, ya got the job? You start tomorrow!
Me: Okay, sounds great.
Pizza Hut manager: *gets to know me after a couple days.* This kids a fucking sociopath…
(Source: weheartit.com, via sillyamericans)
(Source: weheartit.com, via vampyre--brat)